Showing posts with label lick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lick. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Turning Bras into Pumpkins


"Are you an African?"
"How did you know?" 
"You look like one?"
"You have met many?"
"No. I have never met an African."
I smiled in confusion
"But I have read about them.They are good people."

Trying to show my new mates where Africa is...
Charles was clearly incredibly wise and insightful. 
We got talking about good people. 
We got talking about bad people 
(PNG is renowned for their rascals - the raping pillaging, lawless anarchists hungry to inflict pain and violence in their wake). 
We got talking about cannibals:

"The headman would choose who he would like to eat. Sometimes the men. Sometimes the woman. Normally visitors - especially the lumo lumo" (white men; maybe I was dark enough to avoid the palet). 
"And how would they eat them?"
"Well first they would remove the head. The body would be cooked on a fire and served to the village. When the flies stop sitting on the head then it is ready to be boiled and turned into a soup. The soup is a special delicacy."
"IS!!??" I asked in a mild panic. "What do you mean is?"
"No no no" said Charles. "We do not eat humans anymore. Now we have enough meat."
I wondered how their "meat" supply was doing with the famine and drought they'd experience just last year.
I delved deeper into the technicalities and the history on the matter and probably shouldn't have. Just one bay over there still sat a boat where all thirty [plus] passengers were dragged ashore and feasted upon  
"And how long ago was that?" 
"Ahhh, not so long ago... maybe 40 years." 
That was just short of my lifetime!


"She's half school" (one coconut short of a palm) chuckled the toothless beetlenuters who'd tied up to our boat to give us yams as another wanga [outrigger] paddled over.  
We seemed to have an endless supply of curious visitors wandering over. Sometimes we'd still be dropping anchor when the friendly smiles would bargain and trade and want. 
Day. Night. Too frequently before breakfast.


I traded 3 balloons for 2 coconuts and a bunch of tasty leaves.
I traded an old t-shirt for a bunch of bananas.
I traded beads or pens or notebooks for papayas.
Soap for wild bird eggs.
Fish hooks for potatoes.
Balloons were the first niche that all the kids wanted
In the next bay it was bracelets...
And finally i dug deep into my scant bundle of life belongings and produced luminous hairpins - they were an instant success!
We had more fresh supplies than we could eat! 
I liked this way of life. Out here money was about as useless as a roll of toilet paper that had been swimming in the bog. 



"Can you help me please, I have cut my finger" 
John climbed on board and removed his grass bandage. It didn't look like much and had already closed. We took out the first aid kit and disinfected it before covering it up with a white men bandaid. We told him he'd live.
And where are my pills?
Pain killers? 
Yes. I need painkillers.

The first visitor the next morning needed the same thing. She claimed neck pain.
"Please miss we are very remote." 
Remote? Remote? Do remote people NEED lumo lumo painkillers to survive minor pains. Aren't these the wildest of the wild- people who wrestle crocs and horde off rascals. Aren't these people genetically fearless warriors. 
I said no. And almost added a "flip off"...
She paddled away miraculously appearing to be healed.

While it wasn't everywhere, there were some islands where visiting yachts had over traded and introduced people to things that were never meant to be introduced to. When people wanted yeast or water containers, it was normally for  [illegal] homebrew.
When we tried to give swimming goggles, they simply spat them back in our face and demanded our personal dive masks instead.
Boats coming from Australia would load up with bags of donated clothes and equipment for trading, so it was hard to communicate that the t-shirt I was trading had sentimental value and was one of the only four I owned...
We didn't stick around these places for long. The residents here had seemed to forget about what was really important in life!

The local sailing canoe (Sailow)
We tried to stick to the places where we were welcomed and accepted. The places where sailows laughed as they breezed past and the smiles sang as they paddled home from their farms. 
Where the children simply wanted to give and smile and visit and play with your hair, you knew the community still held. 


"Are there crocodiles?" I asked the smiling faces who'd paddled over to greet us as we arrived after a very rough passage from Honiara, Solomon Islands.
"Yes! Plenty."
"In this bay?"
Synchronized nods.
"And do they attack?"
"Yes." [matter-of-factly as if to say "duh!"]
"Have you seen it?"
"Many times."
"And what about in your wanga? Can they jump up and pull you down?"
"Yes. Can!"


I sensed that maybe we drew so many visitors because they wanted to give us food to fatten us up and make us more attractive to the neighborhood pets.
So much for swimming. 

It was two days later on a lonely dusk [inflatable kayak] paddle back from a village where I stumbled upon a big shape drifting through the water towards me. It dropped down leaving two eye like blobs submerged and then it vanished all-together. 
I cannot confirm the nature of the creature but it separated me from the yacht and left me at a bit of a quandry: did I paddle faster and [hopefully] get back quicker? Or did I slow right down and drift in the current and wind hopefully to be mistaken as a log?

As you may have suspected I did make it back alive. 
The swarm of visitors all confirmed the nature of the creature to be as I suspected. They leave the rivers in the dry season in search of food and only return when sated.
I was glad to be home - but I saw the anguish on the faces of our guests who had a long dark row back in their dainty serving dishes.


As  we hopped beautiful islands and bays I was continually challenged to face the fears nature threw at me. I was in some of the most bewithching, unexplored  islands on earth and I was towering in fear - almost too scared to enjoy them.
The crocodiles, sharks, malarial mosquitoes, pirates and canibalisms seemed to merely mirror the inner insecurities I needed to tackle. Fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, fear of dissappointing others... These terrified me even more than the salties! It's amazing how much you learn about yourself when you completely remove all technological and worldly distractions. 




As I began wrestling the self issues, I found the natural threats becoming less alarming. I began swimming and snorkeling the pacific blues (When the kayak broke it became a necessity) and climbing hills where wild people might reside. I got myself tangled in webs and had massive tarantulas crawl over me.  We even pulled up a snake on the anchor...
I ran into a few huge reef sharks and got plenty of mosquito bites;  but I began to trust I'd be okay.
After all, I also only had one chance to explore these almost untouched cultures.

It took a long time to overcome my own inner turmoil but If I could trade my bra for a pumpkin, I could trade in my own insecurities for an unrestrained life.
I did. I think this one was a fair trade.


Thursday, July 21, 2016

Namesake




I was named after my late grandmother: Dina. Man was she an epic sort... but then again, everyone in my family is.

Left to right: Epic sort, Epic sort. Epic sort. Epic sort
But I've never really given much serious thought to the whole "who am I really?" nonsence... you know, all the name meanings and heritage mumbojumbo... but maybe, yes maybe, there's something to it?? All of Fiji keep talking about their namesakes and they're pretty smart and excessively happy beings!!



Mum told me that my name meant "noble woman of esteem." I thought that sounded a bit posh and ostentatious - but I rolled with it. And then my travels led me across many an Israeli who informed me that in fact my name, apart from being an "old people name", also meant "soft and gentle". And yes, after a couple of months spent in Fiji, I am pretty soft and squishy; but gentle? I'm not so sure.

After sitting through many a gift giving (sevusevu) and grog drinking (kava: dry mildly-sedative roots mashed up and soaked into water) ceremony where my name and a lot of clapping gets thrown about almost hap-hazardly, I've come to realise three things. Firstly, I don't like kava very much. Secondly, I've got some flipping big foot prints to fill if I want to live up to my grandmother's legacy (even though she was a tiny human) and finally, I've found a more accurate depiction of who I am (although I suppose that's just my noble esteemist opinion)... In Fijian "Dina" means "true and genuine". And I'll take that!


What better person to be than who you really are?
Big, small, tall, short, funny, passionate, boring, gregarious, impulsive, bad-ass, inbred, accident-prone, cross-dressing... whatever, it doesn't matter as long as you're you!
And that's who I want to be; a true and genuine [Dina] me.

Who's your name sake? What's your name mean? What shoes were you born to fill??

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Monsoons of Malaysia

"Don't go to the East coast of Malaysia in February" they said. "It's monsoon season" they said.

As usual, Adeena didn't really have a plan for Malaysia.
I mean, it's one of those countries that you kind of just see what happens.
...(Or at least that's what she said)

First sights and sounds of Malaysia
The first visit to the wonderful lands of Malay, back in 2009, got her lost in the jungle for hours and when she finally escaped, she was forced to sing her first ever karaoke while Barney the purple dinosaur played in the background.

The second visit got her shipwrecked and marooned on a deserted island (2011).


The third had her attacked by a stray dog (2012).


This time she promised me it would be different.
In fact, being the responsible [near] adult that she is, she stopped right at the border (Jahor Bahru) to work out where to head next.



Overwhelmed with decisions, she wondered over to the local bus station and took the first bus out of town.
It just sop happened to be heading to the East Coast.
Where everyone had told us not to go.

The welcome party that came out to meet us.
And then despite the adverse weather warnings, we jumped on a boat and headed to Tiomen island.


It was an alright kind of place....








Did the weather close in and get us stranded without a ferry for almost a week???
Of course it did!

At least when the seas get rough, Adeena finds other ways to keep busy.

There's always something bizarre for her to lick
The best fruit shakes in Malaysia - we returned to The Take Away shop 6 times in a week!

I suppose there are worse places to get stranded.

When eventually we did head back to the main land, we decided on some jungle time...

But after being attacked by a kitten...


...And marveling at a restaurant's decor...


...And having the bus driver forget to kick us off the bus to take a connecting one inland....

We would up back at the beach, in Cherating, Malaysia's number 1 surf beach.
Unfortunately, due to my unfortunate genetic make up [fluffiness] I don't water well, and I don't surf.


At least Adeena left me in good hands.

Maznah, our guesthouse owner bearby sitting me for the day.
And then rather suddenly we realised that weeks had passed and we had to get to Kuala Lampur in a hurry... so we hitched off into the abyss.


Adeena's not very good with maps, so we ended up going in the wrong direction...
Fortunately it's not so difficult to write in Malay


And these fine gentlemen saved the day.


After three weeks of beach life, the city was a lot overwhelming


But we escaped to Pods, the Backpackers Home, where smiles, and comfy beds and good showers and free breakfast and a chill out roof and peaceful retreat welcomed us.
(Totally worth a visit whether you're passing through, or staying 3 months!)


In fact it was such a haven that I didn't mind being left behind to sip good coffee and chill out while Adeena last minute Malaysia-ed and made new friends.

PODS Cafe'

(no caption needed)
No, I suppose it really was the perfect trip. Maybe some times it's better not to listen to what people tell you to do and just follow your heart. There's some flipping excellent places out there!


Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Singaporian Shenanigans


I sat in the sky thinking how it was possibly time to get some vengence on the pigeons... I mean, from way up here, I could probably shit on their heads for a change.... But really I was probably just trying to find distraction from the flight...

Things weren't looking too good either - I'd bought a salad in the airport (because apparently airplane food isn't that good) and had just cracked it open when an announcement bounced around the cabin  "No outside food or drinks are to be consumed on the flight." ... I snuck nibbles of it anyway - but I've never felt so guilty eating a salad!!!


The nice gentleman next to me was kind enough to help distract the stewardesses too and a great source of in flight entertainment to the point that I didn't even realise we'd touched down.

 I was feeling pretty smug stepping off the plane - knowing for a change where I was going and where we'd be sleeping that night. In fact I'd even watched the YouTube clip (http://youtu.be/ooIq3QNZMg4) to see exactly how to get to my hostel from the airport and it was just as easy as it had seemed although they forgot to mention that we'd be doing it in the heat....

Yes, welcome to Singapore, where it's a sunny 31 degrees - day or night, rain or shine and always 80% humidity. I'd sweated so much getting to the hostel that I didn't need a shower.

Preparations for the year of the monkey
 The Beary Best Hostel was a good find -  just the right mix of phenomenal human specimens and a plethora of stuffed toys to make Teddy feel quite at home. In fact, as I'd lugged him down the street from the Chinatown MRT station, people had kept on pointing us in the right direction. And then there were things like free breakfast and air con and seriously comfy beds and well, I knew I was in good hands for the next few days.


My kind of place


I'd only once briefly touched down in Singapore before and I'd spent all my time photographing the don't signs. This time was different - this time I was out to push the limits. I went barefoot when it wasn't allowed; I licked statues labeled "Do not touch"; I even went as far as doing the forbidden act of chewing gum... yes that's right, this Gypsy lives dangerously!









The city didn't fail to impress, and when I'd had enough of buildings and mind-blowing architecture, there was the Botanical Gardens and Orchid sanctuary and a long bike ride down the East Coast Pathway and and and...  they really do do things properly in Singapore! 








Getting excited about "Golden Showers"


Singapore, a city so advanced that even visitors transform


New friends were made, and old friends were reunited with and for a person who doesn't like cities, I think Singapore surprised me a lot!
The only thing I failed to do, yet again, was to lick the president.




The future of the world (I hope)