Losing my Asianity

It's normally easy to slide in and live amongst the 'natives' - Having dark skin and darker hair makes me practically Asian. By default. And some times I can even use chopsticks... But in the Philippines, all that's changed. I now stick out like a sore thumb - but it's mostly a sore foot that's done the damage!!


I've been 'disabled' for 2 weeks today and I take my hat off to people with real disabilities because it's not easy having people constantly asking "what happened to your foot?" and feeling sorry for you and it especially  sucks with a big backpack and a bigger teddy bear... To put it in perspective, I walk so weirdly that most people don't even notice the teddy... But if there's one place where you can rest and enjoy prettynesses, it's the Philippines... apart from all the walking and missioning and adventuring and exploring that lures you away from recovery!

There's the magical waters... and corals and clams and...

Rehab for clams

And a plethora of waterfalls...

And the people are nice and friendly....

The transport's ALL colourful...

And only a little uncomfortable... 

And karaoke bars can be found in almost anyone's back yard!

The landscape's absolutely perfect [for looking at, not s much for travelling over]

The chocolate hills, Bohol

  

Apart from the spiders, most of the animals are cute and cuddly!

The food's interesting and even when it's not particularly tasty, there's always fresh chilli about to help

You can get a massage just about anywhere for under $5 

They have real beer ... unlike China's 2.5 - 3.3% 

Philoppino's version of Maccers is the Jolibee and you can have great spaghetti for breakfast!

The beaches are perfect (both the black and the white ones - I'm not a rascist)

There's hot springs and cold springs and volcanoes and...

And other strange things you stumble across... (including the best fire poi I've ever seen, done by a 6 year old)

Miss teen

The sunken cemetery

And every day the sunset's more perfect than the last!

With my foot almost functional again I might even go ponder up a volcano in the morning (it's only a 7 hour walk) and then there's the other 7103 islands of the Philippines I have yet to see... It's the kind of place that can suck you in forever... At this rate, it might!

Injured Insanities and Failures

It’s been one of the most bizarrest weeks of my life. I had it all planned out. I was feeling more prepared than I had in years: say goodbye to mom and hello to Hong Kong and then proceed to find my flightless way to Borneo. Simple[ish].

 

I was doing well too. On day one I’d already visited immigration and the maritime authorities - I had leads of all sorts and life was good as it glistened under the sparkly city sky. I handed a friend my camera as we watched the sun drop down into the bustle, I clambered up a little building and leaped into the air as he clicked away and I clicked to the ground in a ball of pain.

I’m still trying to work out why exactly I can’t walk – it seems to be a bit of a combination of a sprained ankle and maybe a hairline fracture and… well, whatever it is, it’s messed up my head mostly! And there’s no medical explanation for that! 

I spent day 2 limping between boat/ yatch/ maritime clubs and busses speaking to any and everyone and plastering notices on whichever sign boards would accept. It wasn’t looking good though; monsoon season has hit and even cargo ships have been rerouted!

Hong Kong hit me with another picturesque sunset that sent my head into a spiraling vortex of ponderings that kept me up all night. And even 5 cups of coffee on Day 3 and a long session in the massage chair couldn’t help me! And then I messed up massively. I made what could potentially be the biggest mistake of my life…

 

…It was weird standing back where I’d hugged mum goodbye only 3 days earlier. I didn’t belong there. I felt like my lunch was going to escape my body. I looked nervously from person to person around me, why were they all so calm?

An hour later I finally found the front of the queue. I was shaking. “I’m sorry ma’am, but unless that bear is boxed, we cannot allow it to board” I should have run away right then, but I didn’t… “May I see your return ticket please?” “Return ticket?” You can't enter the Philipines without an exit ticket. I tried to subtly photoshop one on my laptop but I was a wreck and after an hour of standing I was about to fall over in a ball of pain   so, almost in tears, I followed Nini across the airport and allowed her to book and cancel me a return flight to the cheapest destination possible and she telephoned a colleague to check my bag in and another to get Teddy through customs and then she acted as my crutch as we ran to departures where I caught a train across terminals and heard “final call for Miss Adeena…” and then I boarded a bus and a plane and the doors shut and just like that 8 months of flight freeness [and my soul] were destroyed.

The flight was pretty at least.

  

Two and a half hours was just long enough to calm me down again and when I touched down I was a happy smiling me again – even if it was raining and I was still disabled (They even tried to get me into a wheel chair).

And that’s how I became a Pilipino.

From there it was a staggering 6 jeepneys to Cebu Guesthouse (I might have taken a flight, but taxis are still against my religion) where, even though all the stores were shut, I was lucky enough to meet an American with a broken leg and painkillers and I slept.

A Jeepney

I woke up to find I had a dorm mate. She’d arrived at 3am after breaking her leg… Bringing 75% of the guesthouse to ‘disabled’… She, being a physio, told me that I should get a good 3 or 4 days of solid rest in and I’d probably be alright. But if I was going to rest, I was going to do it in a hammock…

It’s supposed to only be 3 hours to a little paradise called Loboc. And as I was leaving I found an American heading the same way and together we took a wrong jeepney and then the right one and then a ferry and then a trikee and then another jeepney and we were only a few kilometers away when the wheel blew and the driver lost control and we crashed into the sandy curb where our jeepney was laid to rest.

A Trikee

It was a VERY long walk that may have involved me falling a couple of times into pools of stagnant mud and I may have a very dirty teddy, and a very swollen ankle and it may have taken us 4 and a half hours longer than it should have but I now have a hammock and beautifulness all around and that makes me happy.

The washing of the Teddy the Fourth

Anyway, I’m afraid I’ve made many many mistakes of late and I think life’s trying to get me to slow down a little so, before I venture onward to Borneo [to become a vegetarian, etc], I’m going to rest and heal and absorb beautifulness (wow, I sound like a hippy) and then a whole new type of adventure continues. Life is brilliant, even when it hurts.

Mum : Mother Theresa on a Pony

Finally... 2years later, a reunion

So, after two years apart it's been nice ro have a mum again... for all of two weeks... And mum and I have hit China so hard that Mao has almost risen from his mausoleum!

Mum’s like a real life mother Theresa incarnate on a pony (I would say steroids, but mother Theresa types don’t quite fit that description… a pony’s the next best thing). If someone is hungry, she will feed them; thirsty she will beverage them, struggling with luggage, she will pick up their pack, drape them over her shoulder and personally haul them to their destination. The worst punishment in all the world for her, even worse than 39 lashes, would be to have someone else pay the bill.

Together we’ve climbed a 3706m mountain for sunrise (4am - it sucks having only one time zone in such a big country!)…

Mt Emei Shan at sunrise

Endured many many bus and train and undergrounds and bus and train and undergrounds and… come to mention it, we’ve been lost that many many times!

We’ve cycled the dark alleys and valleys and highways of the South.

We’ve visited mud baths and caves and hot springs and countless beautifully sceneryed locations

Yangshou

Sporting our matching hats...

Mud bathing in a cave

Xiaping

We’ve been caught in the rain more times than we’ve stayed dry and even when we have stayed dry, we’ve sweated so much we’ve been drenched.

We’ve eaten so much chilli we’ve both cried (and I eat chilli for breakfast, so that' saying something)! And eaten so many strange bits and feces that I'm sure come out looking better than the way they came in!

We’ve met good people and bad people (many more of the former) and spoken far too much Chinese and I’m more confused than ever, but I guess that’s a given… it’s what you come to China for in the first place!

Mum's perfected the asian squat - she's becoming more chinese by the day

I’ve tried to get mum to play beer pong, but failed. I’ve tried to find her ‘the one’, but failed. I’ve tried to get her to bungee jump (but sadly 2010’s car accident injuries won’t permit)…. But a suitable substitute to all of the above shall be found – someday!

And just like that my two weeks of motherhood are over. Very sadly! We’re about to catch a bus to catch a train to catch a bus to catch a plane and then mum’s off to South Africa for two months. If you’re there, you should definitely say hi!And normally I'd be about to start looking for new adventures... but not this time. This time I know exactly where I'm headed... I'm off to Borneo (flightlessly I hope) to become a vegetarian, and not by choice!

The Power of Thumb: And then there was Mum

So once again I’ve accomplished my mission (finally), I’ve done what I set out to do. Trouble and awesomeness have stuck to me like shadows and it’s been quite a ride... But it’s over, it’s almost time for new adventures….

 My shortest distance yet (111 km) took 4 and a half hours and three different rides from Tagong (somewhere Tibetish in China), but that’s okay – I actually had company for a change – one Irishman and a Swiwi (Swiss-Kiwi) - and when in good company, little can go amiss! Apart from your mind that is – especially when you play silly car games. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is trying to think of a song with the word “motorbike” in it? For 2 hours. In aggravated silence.

We flew past crazy icy cliffs and hot springs and waterfalls and all sorts of beautifulnesses with three sets of very non English-speaking Tibetan rides!! The last one was hornless (hooterless) – If you’ve ever been to Asia, you’ll know the horn is the most importantest part of a vehicle. You can ride without wheels or even an engine, but without a hooter, you die. Fortunately we didn’t (because when it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go and apparently it wasn’t ours. Yet.).

I joined forces with an Israeli hitcher from Danba and we lucked out with the lovely people from China Mobile who drove us the last 387 km all the way into Chengdu. Stopping on the way to feed us and shower us with gifts and show us ALL the touristy attractions on the way including a 6500 m mountain and the earth quake zone and far too many comunisty signs and monuments and pandas.

And that was that. 2687 km. 18 rides. 18 Chinese and 9 Western converts to the power of them. And then, after two years apart, there was mum.