Into the Abyss : But a Blip in the Ocean

"When I grow up, I wanna be a pirate." - Former me, age 5ish...
And I really did. I wanted to swing by ropes from boat to boat waving plastic swords (all swords are plastic when you're 5ish) demanding cookies and cake... that's what I wanted to be.

 But out in the ocean, the last thing you'd like to meet are them pirate types - especially when you're delapan ratus delapan pulah delepan (Indonesian for 888) miles away from the closest splotch of land.. There's no calling the coast guard or radioing a ship for assistance. There's nothing. And in the real world, pirates aren't nice. Or so I've heard.

Stocked up with canned vegetables, a freezer full of chillis, and enough tofu and tempe to circumnavigate the globe [and the rest of the planets] at least 27 times, we licked land goodbye (18:42 pm, Friday 26 October) and prepared for the great vortex of blue that awaited us.

Approaching our last wake point before 3512 miles in a straight line...

The wind whisked out of Bali just in time to celebrate captain Kirk's birthday, which was conveniently located the day before Halloween which was conveniently located the day before Christmas [island] - which you have to celebrate - which created a plethora of convenient celebrations to mark the start of our Indian ocean crossing.

All through the first week, dolphins leaped at our bow and spun through the air and awed us with their magnificent beauty as we chased the sunset. One tanker overtook us, one tsunami warning buoy beguiled us, one soap wrapper floated by. Apart from that, there was nothing.

And then the winds picked up and the dolphins were lost in the 3-5 meter swell; lee cloths went up because life became a constant 30 degree lean to the right, and it's hard to not roll out of bed at that angle. We saw one bobbing coconut and a plastic bottle, but for all we knew there may well have been treasure chests lurking nearby - the seas flamed like a furnace.

Bathing (by hanging onto the stern ladder) became restricted to holding on with both hands, and only when there were at least 2 people to supervise; it's not as easy as you might think to furl the gib, lower the main, start the engine and about ship to rescue fallen sailors.

The captain trying to ski swim off the back of the boat.... the captain was the only one crazy enough to try this... the captain was also almost lost to the sea...

Electronic devices died left, right, over board and centre. The deck became littered with flocks of flying fish (54 found dead - one rescued).

Storms came and went. Movie nights were either done verbatim, or moved indoors.  

One hand was constantly clinging on for dear life whilst the other caught falling people and produce and toilet seats. Make that falling everythings - things learned to magically fly every time we heeled at the mercy of a giant wave. Our bodies glimmered blue with bruises.

17 50 379 S; 086 45 777 E, Day 12, I flew across the galley and somehow succeeded in piercing my tooth through my chin. It hurt a lot. It bled a lot.

The healing of my pieced lip... and no it did not make me turn yellow... I think that may just be the camera.

White waves mesmerised us by day, shooting stars awed us at night. Our trusty swivel, sea force stove kept our stomachs well sated.

Shortly before our furthest point from any land (902 miles away from Cotos Keeling and 902 miles away from Chagos), we spotted a small fishing boat -- the last thing you expect to see out in the ocean. Another two vessels purpled on our radar. Pirates??We sat nervously watching... they eventually disappeared.

At 14:04 pm, Day 13, we hit the half way to La Reunion mark - 1756 nautical miles in. Pop pops and tom thumbs and a message in the bottle went off. Hugs did their rounds. And then we all sat back down and carried on being mesmerised. We still had a very long way to go.

The excitement that is beer oclock (especially on time zone change days, where 5ish oclock came around twice)

Mum : Mother Theresa on a Pony

Finally... 2years later, a reunion

So, after two years apart it's been nice ro have a mum again... for all of two weeks... And mum and I have hit China so hard that Mao has almost risen from his mausoleum!

Mum’s like a real life mother Theresa incarnate on a pony (I would say steroids, but mother Theresa types don’t quite fit that description… a pony’s the next best thing). If someone is hungry, she will feed them; thirsty she will beverage them, struggling with luggage, she will pick up their pack, drape them over her shoulder and personally haul them to their destination. The worst punishment in all the world for her, even worse than 39 lashes, would be to have someone else pay the bill.

Together we’ve climbed a 3706m mountain for sunrise (4am - it sucks having only one time zone in such a big country!)…

Mt Emei Shan at sunrise

Endured many many bus and train and undergrounds and bus and train and undergrounds and… come to mention it, we’ve been lost that many many times!

We’ve cycled the dark alleys and valleys and highways of the South.

We’ve visited mud baths and caves and hot springs and countless beautifully sceneryed locations

Yangshou

Sporting our matching hats...

Mud bathing in a cave

Xiaping

We’ve been caught in the rain more times than we’ve stayed dry and even when we have stayed dry, we’ve sweated so much we’ve been drenched.

We’ve eaten so much chilli we’ve both cried (and I eat chilli for breakfast, so that' saying something)! And eaten so many strange bits and feces that I'm sure come out looking better than the way they came in!

We’ve met good people and bad people (many more of the former) and spoken far too much Chinese and I’m more confused than ever, but I guess that’s a given… it’s what you come to China for in the first place!

Mum's perfected the asian squat - she's becoming more chinese by the day

I’ve tried to get mum to play beer pong, but failed. I’ve tried to find her ‘the one’, but failed. I’ve tried to get her to bungee jump (but sadly 2010’s car accident injuries won’t permit)…. But a suitable substitute to all of the above shall be found – someday!

And just like that my two weeks of motherhood are over. Very sadly! We’re about to catch a bus to catch a train to catch a bus to catch a plane and then mum’s off to South Africa for two months. If you’re there, you should definitely say hi!And normally I'd be about to start looking for new adventures... but not this time. This time I know exactly where I'm headed... I'm off to Borneo (flightlessly I hope) to become a vegetarian, and not by choice!