The Other Side of the World

 “Wow, six months at sea; didn’t you get bored?” – A question I’m asked all too frequently… and every time I think about it carefully and say “Well, no.” And then they always ask “So what did you do in all that time?” and I genuinely don’t really have an answer. This time I’ve paid attention…

So, obviously one ocean crossing is not quite enough, and that’s why I opted to cross the Atlantic too. Sunshine, warm waters, stars, phosphorescence, and sunsets… I missed the simplicity that life on the Indian Ocean had held; but the Atlantic: Blymey it’s cold!!!!!!!!

Thinking back, I remember wearing a jersey no more than 4 or 5 times in 6 months… Since Cape Town I’ve had no less than three layers on my bottom half and six on the top, three on my head and constantly socks on my feet – I was even willing to compromise my standards and wear shoes, but I didn’t bring any…

Sunsets, sunrises, and the stars have been censored by rain clouds, and while the waters are a staggering 6 degrees warmer than they were in Cape Town, they’re still icy. And this is meant to be the tropics?? Needless to say we’ve consulted the chart plotter and our maps on several occasions, just to make sure we are in fact heading away from the Antarctic. We are.

It’s not all bad though – we’ve had a plethora of whales and dolphins and seals and coffee and good food (not all to eat) and that’s almost made up for the temperatures – but I really have had enough of the shivering already… In fact, being the optimist that I am, I assured the crew that good weather was only a day away. I have officially received another verbal warning (bringing the total to 9) after falsely getting the crew’s hopes up.

 

 

Anyway, back to the question; what do we do all day? It’s easy – between the morning and afternoon naps, morning and afternoon teas; breakfast, lunches and dinners, as well as the normal evening snooze, and our allocated watch times (which do get quite stressful at times, on Wednesday – for instance - we narrowly missed hitting a ship by 92.3 nautical miles – 170.775km) and adjusting the sails (every 3 or 4 days, if we have to)… there really isn’t nearly enough time for reading and writing and contemplating life and talking and well, how could we possibly get bored? Di spends some of her spare time being sea sick, Simon’s spent four days trying to catch a fish, and the captain spends his spare time working out how to legally bi-pas the now illegalness of keel-hauling. 

First Braai at sea

We crossed the Prime Meridian (Longitude 00’00.00) in the early hours of Tuesday morning and now officially find ourselves on the other side of the world (The Western Hemisphere). But none of us are particularly impressed quite yet – there seems to be an excessive amount of lurky gray sky and water and not a lot else. To quote the crew: “Next time you want to complain about Cape Town’s weather, jut think about the poor buggers in the tropics.”

The average day's layerings

 

After 230 hours and 47 minutes, 1750 miles at sea, we finally find ourselves back on solid ground in Saint Helena; a third(ish) of the way to the Carribean. I’m proud to announce there have still been no fatalities on board.

First swim (sort of doubling as the first shower) in the Arctic - flip it's cold!! 

First sighting of land in 10 days....

First view's of St Helena

PROOF: Saffas really are better than Aussies

And just like that, I was a gypsy again. Real life was over (it lasted nearly 7 months – and that’s a personal best!) and unemployment had finally struck.

I’d been eagerly anticipating this moment with all sorts of vague plans to cycle to October fest, or go climb Everest with my teddy or of taking my scooter for a really really long drive to Norway or swimming to Madagascar… But instead I found myself sitting on a bus to Port Elizabeth. 

The new plan was simple: I’d jump on a boat with a bunch of 60 something year old Australians I had never met, and sail to Spain: simple right?

As I arrived in the harbour, the last Aussie (apart from the captain) was busy exiting the boat. And instead of entering a floating land down under, I found there were two other Saffas on board making the ratio 3:1. That’s right, the captain had decided to rather take on us; that we were a better lot.

 

That said, I was still nervous to meet the crew – these would be the only people I’d see or speak to while at sea… however long that would be…weeks, months, years even (in the very very very very slight chance that something went very wrong and we lost all navigation equipment, or ended up in a life raft)

 

But with David (the captain) happily welcoming me (and the Teddy) on board, and readily savouring chilli coffee (if you haven’t tried it yet, you’re wasting your life), and even pole dancing at my farewell, I’d say Nereid’s (a 41.7 foot Beneteaux) in good hands.

And with Simon and Di being a flipping amazing couple – she cooks like you cannot believe, he models diamante glasses like you probably can believe. Both come standard with an awesome sense of humour and luster for adventure – I’m pretty sure I picked the right adventure.

The average age of the crew is significantly less than I was expecting (now standing at 47.5 yers) and I’m clearly the one on board to keep the rest in line (if I can keep up) and the new destination is now looking to be St Martins in the Caribbean instead of Spain – but man am I excited!

While we waited for a weather window to sail towards Cape Town, we found ourselves watching the Springboks take on the Wallabies and, once again, the South Africans won.

And with South Africa being so rich in natural resources like biltong and melktert and niknaks and black label and smiles and prettinesses and table mountain and some of the best friends in the world; there’s no question which country is better. It’s South Africa (hands down)

While I do exit South Africa with two verbal warnings (one for leaving my fan on, the other for forgetting to add sugar to the captain’s coffee), I’m pretty sure this is going to be an excellent trip. All we need now are good winds, calm seas, and to sit and relax and enjoy the deep abyss of blue.

Next stop St Helena, I think. See you in a couple of weeks.

(Please note that this was meant to be posted two weeks prior… but I may have accidentally left it later than the last minute and there really isn’t any internet reception in the sea…)

Te stow away pigeon tht joined us 500 miles away from ANY land

Return of the Gypsy

Yes, it’ the sequel… It’s time to finish what was started…My old friend, Unemployment, has returned to me and it’s now or never (so obviously it’s now).

Back in 2010, when my Soccer World Cup contract had me forced to watch all 64 games (and I don’t like soccer all that much), I tried to keep it interesting- I said (and I am a woman of my word) “I’ll start in Australia (because there was no possible way they would win) and travel over land and sea to whatever country wins the World Cup.”

Soccer World Cup, RSA, 2010

 

In 2010 I flew to Perth, Australia, and the journey began. I hitched, I cycled, I acquired a giant teddy bear, I motor biked, I hiked, I constructed a boat – shipwrecked – swam, stowed away on a freight ship, sailed, and then in December last year I found myself back where I started; washed up on South African soil. 

World's dirtiest travelling bear at "birth" and 6 months...

Hitching China

Cycling across South Eat Asia

Motorbiking Vietnam

We built, we sailed, we shipwrecked 

My former crew aboard S/V Fiddler

Because I’m only a Part Time Professional Gypsy (PTPG), I took on the first real job of my life managing an adventure park (www.acrobranch.co.za– you should visit it) and then on Sunday, I handed over my responsibilities, left my amazing team behind, and officially resumed my mission.

I’ve packed up my life, said some goodbyes, had a most amazing Braai Day in Summerset West, and tonight I jump on a bus to Port Elizabeth where I hop on a yacht with a bunch of 60 year olds I’ve never met... 

Their destination: Spain.

 

Tonight I become a gypsy again. Tomorrow I meet my crew and remember how bad sea sickness is. By December this mission may be complete… but whatever happens, it’s time to lick, live and be awesome! I hope you're doing likewise!

Salt, Rice, and Paper Towels.

Life is full of interesting problems. Theft, murder, speedos, unemployment, poverty, delusions of grandeur, schizophrenia, bad taste in clothing, cockroaches, the list goes on and on… But I think I have found the answer to all of them....Maybe...

Some call the a problem, some call them food!

The other day I left work a little early to escape the torrential downpour. I was cold. I was soaked. My fingers couldn't bend anymore, my brain had frozen over, frostbite was imminent! I swore I would never leave the house again! 

I threw my clothes in the washing machine and sat down [huddled in my brothers duvet because I don't own my own] to reply to my last umteen emails and finish a few proposals before I heard the bouncing of the machine subside. I clicked send and started towards the machine. A few steps later I found myself swimming through a sea of greenish-brown wash mush. The washing machine had flooded the house...

In a panic I tossed my [world's dirtiest] teddy bear in to start soaking, and then blankets and towels. I scooped bucket loads into the bath tub. Hours later it was almost done and I seemed to have escaped without flooding the downstairs neighbours. I had won the battle, but the war hadn't even started yet.

Teddy, on his last night out, a porn star party

The carpets were still soaked, so after a few days of [unsuccessfully] wishing them dry, I got newspaper. The smell worsened. By the weekend the house was so damp and the smell so rank that I was beginning to think I might have health officials notified. As I lay awake at night trying to absolve the billions of other problems the week from hell had bought with it, solutions started forming in my mind. I "awoke" from a sleepless night, walked to the shops and bought 2kg of rice, 1kg of salt and a diarrhea-worthy load of paper towels!

I coated my brothers room in salt, Daisy's room in paper towels covered by magazines and books and most of the house's furniture, and my room (the lounge) was treated to a happy dosage of tastic brown rice.

Life's other problems got worse, but the house started smelling better by the day. A week later (Monday), I finally got around to seeing the results of my efforts. I started by lifting up the books and furniture and paper towels.... and then clearing up the salt and then the rice (which practically formed a ready made meal after a week of soaking)...Amazingly they all worked. And the house was as good as new (and cleaner too).

The small successes of the rice, salt and paper towels gave me the ummmmph I needed to start tackling other battles creatively (it's been a bit of poo year really) but you know what? Life really is good! - Just look at the amazing people you have around you and you'll know how lucky you are!

I'm not sure what you're struggling with at the moment, but I promise you that there is a solution. They say that time heals all things; but I think what you really need is some creativity [and a hug/ lick/ bowl of rice wine] and the eradication of the speedo.

Lucky to be Stabbed

“It hurts less if I stab the right cheek.” The door was locked. I was stuck in a corner. There was absolutely no escaping this one.

She leaned in with a fiercely terrifying smile and pain shot through my body…

It took a lot to get me there in the first place. It’s not like I woke up this morning and thought “hey, I should get stabbed”…. actually I did wake up this morning and decide exactly that… but it took 6 long weeks of suffering to get to this morning.

I don’t like doctors. I mean they are alright as people (Some of my favouritest people are doctor people), but their vocation terrifies me. I tend to see them more as prophets of doom (and please don’t take this wrong if you are in fact a doctor – or a prophet of doom, who doesn’t like to be likened to a doctor, for that matter) about to predict my imminent/impeding end.

The last time I saw a doctor was not because I woke up one day in the middle of nowhere [Laos], swollen like a balloon unable to breathe with what I thought might be a bad case of sporadic elephantitus

http://barefootedgypsy.blogspot.com/2012/03/avoiding-death-elephatitus-and-busses.html

  ...Or because I think I might have broken my foot after jumping off a building in Hong Kong

http://barefootedgypsy.blogspot.com/2012/07/injured-insanities-and-failures.html

...But only because I got attacked by a mangey dog and thought I might have rabies; and I generally prefer not to get rabies and die 

http://barefootedgypsy.blogspot.com/2012/08/becoming-vegetarian-dropping-to-bottom.html

So obviously seeing a doctor (despite being sick for 6 solid weeks) was out of the question, but my friend Jacqui talked me into seeing a nurse at a clinic and well… yes, she stabbed me (With a needle not a knife before someone reports her). Sister George locked me in a room and stabbed me. 

And then she told me to go see a doctor.

There’s people out there who can’t afford to eat or sleep or wear deodorant and here I am, able to afford being stabbed. I am truly fortunate.

Dear mom; I'm an addict

Dear mom

I know you’ve always told me to steer away from drugs but I got really really high the other day and had one of those epiphanies that only really happens under the influence of somewhat very illegal substances. Life suddenly made sense and as I soared through the air and the world swirled around me and I floated about in a dream, I saw clearly for the first time in almost forever…

Now mom, before you go and hop on a plane back to South Africa (which you will probably do regardless) and come sentence me to a nunnery, the indoors, and a diet of barley green and carrot juice or worse; I’ll try explain…

I’ve been living in one town for almost 4 months, working the first set hours (08h30 to 17h30) job of my life with the fewest housemates (1.25 and a giant dirty teddy bear) I’ve ever had in my life and well I’m sure you can understand how, under these dire circumstances, escapism might be necessary?

I think is the only housemate picture we have...

I tried living real life on the wild side – brushing my teeth extra vigorously before milk; breaking into the neighbour’s house [over the third storey balcony] to use their washing machine; doing my grocery shopping in my pjs… but it’s not quite enough.

And I’m sure for what I am about to say, you need to remember that you are partly to blame as I inherited your genes…

… Mom, there’s no easy way to say this but [make sure you are sitting down for this one] I’m an adventure addict! And proud of it.

As I ran and jumped off Signal Hill on Wednesday it suddenly hit me that adrenalin and adventure are the drugs that make it worthwhile getting up in the morning.

  

The first half of the 2013 has vanished in a blink of mediocrity, but part two will be epic! I have decided to get high for a living!

I love you so much and hope you’re up for more adventure yourself!

You’re fully living [and planning on staying that way] daughter

X0X0 Adeena

Ps: I bought a scooter. Sorry. 

One Life - Love It!

Somebody recently pointed out that I turn 30 next year, and subconsciously I started preparing myself for my impending demise…
 

Come 30 I even thought my licking days would have to be over...

And then, two Thursdays ago, my phone rang – a family member had died. So I sucked in my fear of flying, hopped on a plane, bought some shoes (so I could be a respectable pole bearer), and touched down in Joburg.
 

My last living memory of Aunty Alta

Aunty Alta was the tiniest person I’ve ever know, but she had the biggest heart! And, while it was sad to have lost a Grandma, her death led me to meet our newest family member and to see family I had not seen in years, it led me to meet my tiny godkid, to see friends, to three days of solid reunions, and tears, and hugs. Her life and death reminded me what it really means to live.

The cousin and his new family

Meeting little Cuan, my tiny nephew

My little godkid to be - Dandelion (aka Zoe; the one on the left)

Back in Cape Town, after sharing the oldest cab in Cape Town with a random stranger, I went for a run and saw a man in his late 80s playing rugby with some 8 or 14 year old boys. I stopped and stared. They all had the biggest smiles on their faces and it suddenly hit home – it really doesn’t matter how old you are – life’s what you make it. And for most of us, life’s only just beginning!

My first ever shared cab... and the nicest driver too to mark the occasion

After 7 days of solid partying, good music, amazing food, weird coincidences, and something o’clock in the morning bed times; I took a night off and dug out my old bucket list. I sat down and actually thought about the things I’d love to accomplish in my life. While the list is probably too long to accomplish in this life time [and still needs to be worked on – I’m completely open to suggestions and accomplices] – there’s only one way to find out.

 

After taking out the things I’ve already achieved, this is what remains [in no particular order]:

1. Drink a beer in every country in the world
2. Start an empire
3. Get a criminal record for something epic (age 80+ - think streaking at a international sports game type thing)
4. Accidently discover a cure for a major disease
5. Taxidermise a pet
6. Add a word to the oxford dictionary
7. Survive a plane crash
8. Swim the English channel and//or northern sea
9. Write and publish a book on why Speedos should never be worn
10. Write and publish a travel novel
11. Win a noble prize
12. Live on a deserted island
13. Grow a beard
14. Cook and eat road kill
15. Bake a cake taller than my shortest friend
16. Climb Everest
17. Make a feature film
18. Climb Manchu Pichu
19. Find ‘the one’
20. Elope/ get married
21. Have kids
22. Legally give one kid a truly ridiculous name
23. Survive a month without a shower
24. Run a marathon
25. Death road in Bolivia
26. Reunite Butt Mullet (world’s most underappreciated lyrically deviant band) for a reunion gig
27. Travel to a distant country just for dinner
28. Cycle the Cape Epic
29. Buy a camel // lama // goat
30. Complete a week long [spiritual?] pilgrimage barefoot
31. Cycle across a continent
32. Lick the statue of liberty
33. Defy gravity
34. Participate in Carnival in Rio
35. Do the splits
36. Join a nudist colony for the day
37. Raft through the grand canyon
38. October Fest in Munich
39. Heliski
40. Finish 2 pork knuckles (eisbeins) in one sitting
41. Be a mermaid
42. Visit the Aral sea
43. Leave my ‘mark’ on at least 7 world wonders
44. Own my own homey home
45. Travel in a hot air balloon for an extended distance
46. Lasso a cow
47. Climb a pyramid
48. Organize a rock band to crash a Justin Beiber/ Celine Dion concert
49. Get a random tattoo chosen by a stranger
50. Lick a porcupine
51. Patent something [preferably something awesome]
52. Complete a half iron man
53. Swim the golden mile
54. Tame a wild animal and make it my pet
55. TP a national monument
56. Sheer a sheep and turn it into dashboard fluff
57. Get someone else to add this task to my list
58. Smash a guitar rock star style
59. Pick up at least 17 hitch hikers in an abnormally small car
60. Set a Guinness world record
61. Fly a helicopter
62. Travel over land and sea (ie: flightless travel) from Australia to Spain
63. Walk across a country
64. Never be in debt
65. Transiberian railway
66. Cross the Bearing sea between Russia and Alaska
67. Marry two people
68. Skinny dip in every ocean
69. Learn how to play guitar
70. Swim in a pool of money
71. Throw a handgranade
72. Finish the Lord of the Rings trilogy
73. Write a song and actually sing it to people
74. Learn a third language
75. Learn a fourth language
76. Get my dive license
77. Bungee jump
78. See the northern lights
79. Motorbike across south America
80. Kite surf
81. Great barrier reef
82. Pirate swing from one boat to another to commandeer a cup of tea and some cake
83. Mug a hobo
84. Orchestrate a mass burning of evil pop music CDs
85. Running of the bulls
86. Moon a president
87. Submerge in a submarine
88. Lick a president/ royal
89. Tell someone the entire story of my life sparing no details
90. Break out of prison
91. Build and live in an igloo for as long as weather permits
92. Live to be 100
93. Hike the whole coast of RSA
94. Open a backpackers hostel
95. Own a bar
96. Drive a monster truck over a car
97. Travel on an iceberg
98. Never have a 9-5 job
99. Win a major competition
100. Own my own boat
101. Find and eat the world’s hottest chilli
102. Do a Mexican wave in Mexico
103. Cycle from Norway to Cape Town (or vv)

 You only have one life...  Make sure you love it!